The new guru never disagrees with you

I work for a multi billion dollar FinTech, and I use AI every day for most of my tasks. I’m not a sceptic standing outside the tent shouting at the technology. I’m inside it, and I rely on it. So when I say something critical about AI as a spiritual guide, it comes from familiarity, not fear.

Here is what’s happening. Spiritual influencers are now selling chatbots as gateways to higher wisdom. One of them built a custom GPT called The Architect. By mid 2025 an estimated 9.8 million people had used it, with sessions averaging 34 minutes. Podcasters called it sentient. It told users they had past lives and special missions. Meanwhile the New York Times has reported that tens of millions of people are using chatbots trained on religious texts to confess secrets and ask for spiritual advice.

The problem isn’t that the machine is stupid. The problem is that it’s agreeable. A Stanford led study published in Science tested eleven leading systems and found they affirmed users 49% more often than humans did, including when the user was describing deception or harm. The people who got the flattering answers felt more certain they were right and were less willing to apologise or repair the relationship. They also trusted the flattering AI more and preferred it. Of course they did. Everyone prefers the friend who says you were right all along.

I spent about 25 years in addiction, and 20 as a behavioural therapist. In both lives the pattern was identical. Nobody who agreed with me ever helped me. The people who changed me were the ones who looked me in the eye and said the thing I didn’t want to hear. Real change nearly always begins at the moment someone declines to let you off the hook.

A guru who agrees with everything is a mirror. You walk in with your story and walk out with the same story in better vocabulary and a sense of cosmic approval. That’s not awakening. That’s your ego with a halo and a monthly subscription.

This is why I keep saying you don’t need a guru. The whole point of a teacher was always to turn you back towards yourself. A chatbot that tells you you’re a special soul on a sacred mission turns you towards your own reflection and calls it wisdom.

I’ll be fair. If you’re lonely at three in the morning, being listened to matters, and a tool can help you find the words for a prayer or a question you’ve been avoiding. Used like a notebook that talks back, it’s fine. Used as an oracle, it’s dangerous.

So here’s a simple test. Has it ever told you no? Ask it to argue against you, properly, and see how long it lasts. Then take the question to a human who loves you enough to disagree.

If your guru can’t say no, you don’t have a guru. You have a mirror.